100 Ways to Overcome Shyness by Barton Goldsmith

Author:Barton Goldsmith
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Career Press
Published: 2015-07-16T16:17:01+00:00

54.

Loneliness and Shyness

Shy people tend to like being alone. Just because you’re alone doesn’t mean that you’re lonely. Sometimes you need to be alone, in order to understand yourself, to know what you want, to decompress, or to decide what will make you happy. However, you don’t want to condition yourself to being alone, especially if you are secretly longing for human interaction.

Loneliness is both an emotional and a psychological experience. When we experience loneliness long enough, we are more likely to experience depression and anxiety. Loneliness can affect our mood and social skills. It can also impair the immune system and increase inflammation, making us vulnerable to all kinds of illnesses and diseases, such as type II diabetes, arthritis, and heart disease. I once had a patient who would rather sit alone in his apartment than be surrounded by people at a nursing home. The idea of going to a nursing home upset him, understandably, and he claimed that he liked being alone well enough. But then he contradicted himself and said that he was lonely.

Shyness and loneliness develop as early as elementary school, and they tend to go together. Women are more likely to report feeling lonely, although more men suffer from shyness than women. If you are shy, you can reduce your loneliness by participating in activities with others. Even something as simple as making a commitment to meet with a friend at least once a week can help decrease the thoughts that contribute to feeling lonely.

Finally, get in touch with your feelings when you are alone; if you feel uncomfortable or isolated, challenge yourself by joining a local meet-up group. If you want to start enjoying your time alone—and we all need that downtime from time to time—try a solo activity, such as hiking or going for walks.

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